Finding self and a second home in Ireland

Biology major Deena Benmouloud recounts her experience of a year abroad at Ulster University in the Irish American Scholars Program.

My parents raised me with the belief that traveling would broaden my perspective on life and open me up to new opportunities. This philosophy perfectly encapsulates my entire study abroad journey. During my sophomore year, I became an ASSMU International Student Senator, a role that quickly became one of my greatest passions. Every semester, I eagerly anticipated meeting new groups of international students, spending time with them, learning about their cultures and sharing my own. I particularly enjoyed working with our international students from Korea over the summers. This role gave me the privilege of connecting with so many incredible people and forming friendships that will last a lifetime. It provided me with the unique opportunity to learn more about the world through others' eyes—lessons I could never have gained on my own.

Although my parents immigrated from Algeria, I have lived in Olympia my whole life. I had the opportunity to travel abroad and see that there was so much more to the world, but I had never experienced living away from home. That changed in 2022 when I met Cliodhna, one of our international students from Ireland. We met during her orientation, and from the day I gave her a tour of the campus, we were inseparable. As the year went on, I realized she would eventually have to return to Ireland, and we were both saddened by the thought of how our friendship might change.

Then, the idea struck: why not live abroad myself? What better way to learn more about the world than to go out and experience it firsthand? Cliodhna and I were thrilled by this idea and she encouraged me to apply to study in Ireland. I was excited, but also nervous about the prospect of living on my own in a new country for a year, especially since I had always lived at home with my family. However, Cliodhna eased my nerves by sharing how wonderful her country was and reassuring me that I would have her support while I was there. I was also initially nervous about studying abroad during what would have been my senior year, knowing it would delay my graduation by a year. However, I soon realized that this extra year was far from a setback. Instead, it became a year of immense growth and learning—an experience that gave me the wisdom and knowledge of several years in one.

I reached out to the OIPD, and they helped me apply for the Irish American Scholarship. Their support was reassuring, and when I was accepted I had never been more excited for anything in my life. I was placed in the Biomedicine program at Ulster University, on their beautiful coastal campus. From the moment I arrived, I dreaded the day I would have to leave. I shared a flat with five girls who, from the night we moved in, became my closest friends, eventually feeling like sisters. I introduced them to Cliodhna and got to know her family and friends as well. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by a circle of some of the most amazing people I had ever met. Ireland truly became my home away from home, and not a day went by when I wasn’t immensely grateful for the life I was living.

My university experience was beyond anything I could have imagined. The campus was stunning, with multiple beaches nearby where we had infinite beach walks and watched every sunset we could. We swam and surfed, no matter how cold the water was, and afterward would go to the sauna on campus. I also worked as a barista at a cafe on the promenade in Portstewart, so conveniently close to campus. The courses offered at Ulster were incredible, and I looked forward to every class. Being in a new environment reignited my passion for learning, especially with the variety of courses available, like Haematology and Immunology. Back at Saint Martin's, I had majored in Biology because it was the closest option to my interest in Biomedicine, so having the chance to dive into the subject I was truly passionate about felt like a dream come true. The labs were fascinating and my professors were inspiring.

Throughout the year, I continued to meet amazing people through my classes, my job, campus clubs and our many adventures. I visited London and Edinburgh during the holiday season, celebrated an unforgettable Christmas with Cliodhna’s family, spent Easter break in Greece, and explored a variety of cities like Manchester, Bristol, Galway and Dublin. I also spent a lot of time in Belfast with Cliodhna, who was living near Queen’s University. The ease of getting around without needing a car due to the public transportation (including a train and bus station on campus) and the generosity of friends who would drive me when needed made every adventure possible.

I even spent the summer in Belfast, unable to accept that my time there was coming to an end. We spent it hiking, camping and exploring more of the country. I did my best to make the most of the limited time I had left with the special people in my life. When I finally had to leave, it was one of the hardest goodbyes I’ve ever experienced. I left a piece of my heart in Ireland and know that I will return in the future. This year abroad taught me so much about myself and gave me a sense of independence I had never known. I forged friendships that feel like family and left the country with a second home.

People often talk about "finding themselves," and I never truly understood that until I experienced this incredible year. Studying abroad had an extremely positive impact on my mental health and well-being. Before this experience, I felt confined to the familiar routines and surroundings of home, which left me feeling stagnant. Living in a new country, surrounded by fresh perspectives and endless opportunities for adventure, breathed new life into me. The friendships I formed, the independence I gained, and the chance to immerse myself in a new culture allowed me to grow in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I felt a renewed sense of purpose and excitement every day, whether I was on the beach, attending class, exploring the breathtaking landscapes, or simply spending time with the wonderful friends I had made. The supportive community I found, both at university and in my everyday life, provided a safe space to be myself, step out of my comfort zone, and embrace challenges with a newfound confidence.

Azar Nafisi, an Iranian-American writer and professor, quoted in her memoir Reading Lolita in Tehran, "You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are at this time and place because you’ll never be this way ever again." This sentiment precisely captures my own experience of studying abroad. Returning home has been profoundly challenging, not merely because I miss the friends and experiences I left behind, but because I also long for the person I became during my time abroad. The growth, the joy, and the sense of belonging I felt there are irreplaceable, and adjusting back to my old life has been a reminder of how deeply transformative and meaningful that period was. I often find myself missing the feeling of waking up in a place that made me feel so alive. It gave me a sense of fulfillment that I struggle to replicate back home. Being back in familiar surroundings sometimes feels like a step back after everything I’ve learned and grown through. There is a constant ache in my heart, a longing to return to the place where I felt the most myself. Ireland wasn’t just a temporary chapter; it became a part of who I am. While I am grateful for the life I have here, I now understand what it means to have a second home, and not a day has gone by where I don’t dream of going back.

This year abroad was transformative, teaching me the value of inner peace, adaptability and embracing the unknown—lessons that significantly enriched my happiness and mental well-being. It expanded my worldview and deepened my self-understanding in ways I had never imagined. Studying abroad was unequivocally the best decision of my life, and I wholeheartedly encourage everyone to take such an opportunity if they can. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I am sincerely grateful for the support I received from my parents, the OIPD, and to Cliodhna, for inspiring and supporting me in pursuing a path I never thought would come my way.

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